Archive for the ‘Just Musings’ Category


written by Vicky, May 2012


as we travel on….

love is what we’ll remember….

It is the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance.

It is the dream afraid of waking
that never takes the chance.

It is the one who wont be taken
who cannot seem to give.

And the soul afraid of dying
that never learns to live.

wONt f0RgeT, cAN’t reGrEt,
what i did for love! 

Ikaw Lamang :)

Ikaw ang pangakong taglay ng isang bituin
Tanging pangarap sa diyos ay hiling
Makapiling sa bawat sandali

Ikaw ang pag-ibig sa araw at gabi
Ikaw ang pag-asang tanglaw sa dilim
Napapawi’ng hirap at pighati

Langit ang buhay sa tuwing ika’y hahagkan
Anong ligaya sa tuwing ika’y mamasdan
Sa piling mo ang gabi’y tila araw
Ikaw ang pangarap
Ikaw lamang

Ikaw ang pag-ibig sa araw at gabi
Ikaw ang pag-asang tanglaw sa dilim
Napapawi hirap at pighati

Langit ang buhay sa tuwing ika’y hahagkan
Anong ligaya sa tuwing ika’y mamasdan
Sa piling mo ang gabi’y tila araw
Ikaw ang pangarap
Ikaw lamang

Langit ang buhay sa tuwing ika’y hahagkan
Anong ligaya sa tuwing ika’y mamasdan
Sa piling mo ang gabi’y tila araw
Ikaw ang pangarap

Ikaw ang pangarap
Ikaw ang pangarap
Ikaw lamang…

my joy

written by vicky (12.2011)
(click image above to see it fully) 

hard to let go…

but what if the thing that makes you sad is the one thing that you can’t live without?

fairy tale

Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale…

Cherish it even though it won’t lead to a happy ending, because sometimes, the journey is more important than the destination.

Love is the passion that we feel inside of our hearts that we can’t hide. We pretend to hide it, but it burns us more and more until the pain grows and grows and it never ends. 

Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver.  Heartbreak makes you wiser.  So thank the past for a better future.

wish you were here…

…nasi goreng and french fries…



my all

My heart bleeds tears 
Though it was once aflame 
slowly, tenderly it burned
As if it had a life of its own
and wanted nothing else but to blaze…
That it flamed in darkness
was not a misfortune
For its mist was the passion
That illuminated the catacomb
of my dreams and hopes…
And, that darkness, was so loved
For in its deepest recesses,
Even for just a moment…
…there was you.

written by vicky (2011)

beautiful meteor…

meteor: a bright trail or streak that appears in the sky, and then quickly disappears; also known as a shooting star.

so let me tell you this… 

… some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this…

shooting star,
thank you for shining brightly for me.

senti moment…

i miss my friends… the youthful ones who would drag me to drink and party at midnight and cry with me each time my heart breaks.

i miss my friends, those who go ahead to battle for me when somebody treats me wrong. 

i miss my friends, those who talk with me over mouths full of food or coffee or cake while trying to console me at the same time.

i miss my friends, whose joys have become my joys… whose sorrows have become my sorrows… and whose lives i will forever be a part of.

i miss my friends, who are miles and oceans apart from me right now and living their pains and joys without me.

but mostly, i miss the way i am when i am with them.

Cooking up :)

During the past few days, I have turned to creative cooking which, I happily discovered, has helped reduce my stress, and eased my emotional pains… and cheered me up somewhat. I call it creative because, all five dishes I prepared over the weekend, were either cooked in a different way than I used to do, or I cooked it from “taste” memory – which meant I improvised based on how I remember the dish actually tasted. And, I had guests invited to savor them.

So what were those dishes? Saturday: Beef with Mushroom in Cream Sauce; Stir Fried Vegetables with Fried Tofu; Ginger-Eggplant Saute with Chilli Sauce. Sunday: Beef Strips with Barbecue Sauce and a Siding of Fries; Pan Fried Salmon Steak with Lemon Butter Sauce. Yum yum yum 🙂 so my guests said….

Just turned one week in Jakarta, and here I am surviving, trying to be strong in a jungle of heartsick emotions through the delicious aromas and the dance of pots and pans in my kitchen on the 24th floor.


I have been asleep for a long time. Asleep and dreaming of wonderful worlds and happy arms that used to hold me, for the longest time.

But today, I have awakened. And in this awakening, I see my surroundings with new eyes. I have no more illusions, only acceptance. Acceptance of the truth that was once invisible to my blinded eyes and wanting heart.

I refuse to stagnate, so I am moving on, but not before pruning myself of pretentious affections that talk of love and sisterhood and brotherhood but prove the opposite of it. Liars. Cowards.

I bleed. I do bleed. But every step I take deeper and away from the skin that is shed off me, the better I will be. It had to be done. It had to. For I am no longer asleep.

I may have less than what I had before, but I am NOT, in any way, less whole.

The Healing

Miranda opened her eyes and gazed up at the heavens, as if facing the sky for the first time. She breathed in the cool breeze that played about and kissed her delicate face. A soft chill enveloped her being. As she exhaled, a sense of peace glowed inside her. Miranda closed her eyes once again. Her lips formed into a smile.

“It is a new day” she whispered to herself.


Miranda opened her eyes gently at the sound of the affirmation. Of course, her eyes perceived no one. She came up the hill alone, but she was not really just by herself.

“You’re here,” she whispered again.

“I am.”

Miranda shivered as cool air swept about her. Instinctively, she turned her head to her right and spoke.

“I am ready…” she uttered.


The wind blew forth once more and Miranda listened as the nearby trees swayed in answer to the music of nature.

“I am ready…” she repeated.

“Patience, Miranda” the voice said.

Miranda felt the sun’s warmth cascade over her, like velvet it caressed her skin and gave her strength. She willingly absorbed the gift of the sun, the energy it provided. She imagined  her body filling up with the yellow glow of power, until she felt her essence tingle. She almost shone.

“Now, you are ready.”

Miranda smiled again. Opening her eyes, she stood firmly and opened her arms wide, as if to embrace the sky. She willed the fresh energy from her being  to push forth, and recharge her soul with the energy of the sun, the wind, the universe. She felt light yet strong. She felt grateful, she felt alive. She felt beautiful. She felt power.

“Accept the gift, Miranda…” the voice said warmly.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

A light breeze touched her cheek and then it was gone. Miranda smiled to herself. Her energy has been replenished. She can heal again. Nothing gave her more satisfaction than knowing this.

On impulse, she let her fingers touch the area over her heart. Though a broken heart heals, scars stay. Yet, when healing takes place, the scars only remind you that there is always a way to stand up again.

Miranda turned her eyes to the west, down the hill, to the village and the people that need her healing touch. Slowly, she made her way towards it, completely healed and broken no more.

All healing is first a healing of the heart.

I have loved to the point of madness,
That which is called madness,
That which to me,
Is the only sensible way to love.

still speechless…

still have got no words that can explain clearly enough what’s deep inside…
just heartfelt songs….
maybe soon, i’ll find my voice again….

…. i’ve been pushed right past the point of breaking,
but I can take it, i’ll be back – back on my feet
this is far from over…
this is far from over…

you haven’t seen the last of me!

We may never meet again…

if i speak, words come from my head…
if i express with song, words come from my heart…
and for now, this is all i have to say…

For all we know
We may never meet again
Before you go
Make this moment sweet again

We won’t say goodnight
Until the last minute
I’ll hold out my hand
And my heart will be in it

For all we know
This may only be a dream
We come and we go
Like the ripples of a stream

So love me, love me tonight
Tomorrow may never come
For all we know…

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